Thursday, March 31, 2011

*စာ*သား*နယ္*လြန္*

*စာ*သား*နယ္*လြန္*

ေဟာဟိုတေရြ႕ေရြ႕ ေမ်ာပါေမာဟမ်ားတေရြ႕၊ထိုမွစ၍ ႏွစ္ေပါင္းမ်ားစြာ

အလြန္ၾကာေညာင္းေသာၾကာခ်ိန္မ်ား၊

ထုိ႕ေနာက္

သင္၊ခင္ဗ်ားႏွင္႔သူ၊

စုစုရံုးရံုး သစၥာေဖာက္မ်ား၊

တစ္ေယာက္မက်န္ ေလးစားပစ္လုိက္ရ။

ထုိ၀ဲၾသဃ (ေထာင္၀င္စာဆန္ဆန္)၊ အျပံဳးမ်ား၊

စေတးပစ္လုိက္ရ၊

ျမဳပ္ရေမ်ာရ၊

တံေထြးခြက္အလ်ားရိွသေလာက္၊

အသက္ေအာင္႔ထားႏုိင္သေလာက္ ရွင္သန္ခြင္႔၊

ဗ်ာမ်ားမေနနဲ႕၊ မထူးဇာတ္ထဲ

ပတ္မၾကီးမရိွ၊ထိုးေဖာက္သူမရိွ၊ ဟယ္တဏွာေယာက်ာ္းလက္သမားမရိွ၊

ဘယ္သူဆို ဘယ္သူမွမရိွ၊

ဟုိေကာင္ေလးလည္းမရိွ။

ဟိုေကာင္ၾကီးလည္းမရိွ။

မရိွျခင္းမွာ

စိတ္ခ်မ္းသာတတ္၊

အေၾကြးမရိွ။

အပိုင္လုိခ်င္စိတ္မရိွ။

ေသာကမရိွ။ ေခါင္းပန္းလွန္သလို

မ်က္စိမ်ားမွိတ္ထားလုိက္။

သက္သက္သာသာျဖစ္ေနရင္ ေတာ္ျပီ။

ေခတ္ၾကီးကို

ကြန္ျပဴတာဖန္သားျပင္ကို

ခ်စ္သူပါးျပင္ကို

ၾကည္႕ေနခ်င္တုန္းအရြယ္လား၊

လြန္သြားျပီ။

ေတာ္ရံုသင္႔ရံု အကဲပိုရရင္ေတာ္ေရာေပါ႔။

ေဆးေသာက္ထားတဲ႔အဘိုးၾကီးလို

ကိုယ္႔ကိုယ္ကုိ ယံုၾကည္မႈၾကီးနဲ႕

မ်က္လံုးေတြ

တစ္ခါတစ္ခါ ေျမေပၚမွာ

တစ္ခါတစ္ခါ အုတ္ဂူေပၚ

အျပားလုိက္ကပ္ေနတာေတြ႕တယ္။

ဘယ္သူမွ သတင္းမပို႕ရင္ သတင္းဟာ သတင္းမဟုတ္ဘူး။

ညဥ္႕ငွက္ေတြမွာ

HIV ပါတယ္။

အေပ်ာ္ၾကဴးသူေတြမွာ

အေဖာ္ပါတယ္။

ဆုိလိုတာက အႏၱရာယ္ရိွတဲ႔ကစားပြဲဟာ

အခုေလးတင္ျဖစ္ပြားေနတာမဟုတ္ဘူး။

ေန႕တုိင္း၊

မျမင္ရတဲ႔တစ္ေနရာ၊

မျမင္ရတဲ႔သူရဲေကာင္းနဲ႕

မျမင္ရတဲ႔ ေလာင္းေၾကးေတြ၊

ရင္းႏိုင္ရင္ ရင္းႏိုင္သေလာက္

ေခ်ာက္ကမ္းပါးဟာ

ခုန္ခ်လိုသူရဲ႕ နိဗၺာန္။

ဒီစာသားမွာ ကဗ်ာမပါခဲ႔ရင္ ေနာက္စာသားနဲ႕လုိက္လာခဲ႔မယ္လုိ႕ သူကေနာက္ထပ္ သူ႕ကိုေျပာတယ္

ကြ်န္ေတာ္မၾကားလုိက္ဘူး

။ ။

Zephyr

Thursday, March 24, 2011

မေျပာျဖစ္ေသာစကားမ်ား

မေျပာျဖစ္ေသာစကားမ်ား

မသိဘူး။
၀မ္းနည္းတဲ႔အခါ
ဘာလုပ္ရမွန္းမသိဘူး။

ကမာၻဦးလူ
အစာရွာထြက္သလို
မုိးထဲေရထဲ၊
ဆႏၵတစ္ခုထဲ၊
တင္းပုတ္တစ္ခုထဲ၊
ေျခဗလာနဲ႕ထြက္ခဲ႔တယ္။

ေလာကမွာ
ဘယ္သူမွ
အမိမခံခ်င္ဘူး၊
သားေကာင္/မုဆိုး
တစ္လွည္႕စီေျပးတယ္။

မုဆိုးဟာ
ပန္းပြင္႔ကိုအာရံုမျပဳဘူး။
လွပတဲ႔ေရစက္ေလး
သူ႕ပခံုးစြန္းမွာနားလည္း
စိတ္မခ်မ္းသာဘူး။
ဆာေလာင္မႈ
အဲဒီ ဆာေလာင္မႈရဲ႕ေအာ္သံ
သူ႕စိတ္ထဲ ေတာေျခာက္ေနတယ္။

တိုးတိုးေလးတြားသြားတယ္။
အသံမျမည္ေအာင္ခ်ဥ္းကပ္တယ္။
ႏို႕တုိက္ေနတဲ႔သမင္ေလး ဆီသို႕။

ကမာၻဦးကမုဆိုး
သမင္တစ္ေကာင္ရခဲ႔တယ္ဆိုပါေတာ႔။
အခုအခါမွာ၀မ္းနည္းမဆံုးေတာ႔ဘူး။

ဒီလုိပါပဲ၊
မိုးထဲေရထဲ၊
အဆင္႔ဆင္႔ဖြံျဖိဳးလာတဲ႔မုဆိုး၊
အစာငတ္ခံ နာက်င္ရင္း
မိုးေရစက္ေတြကို ေငးၾကည္႕ေနရွာတယ္။

တစ္ေန႔
သမင္မိသားစု
အစာရွာထြက္လာတဲ႔အခါ
(ျပံဳးေသ ေသခဲ႔တဲ႔)
မုဆိုးအရိုးကို နင္းမိေတာ႔
မုိးရနံ႕ကို ရၾကတယ္။ ။

Zephyr

Thursday, March 10, 2011

What will I do if I got the 8th day from HIM?

What will I do if I got the 8th day from HIM?

Sometimes, I am thinking about time, lifespan and ages.

Time is not a problem for me at all. I don't need more time from God or from anyone. There are some minute insects that can live only for few hours. My life is long enough compared to them and, 29 years old man who lives thousand times longer than those insects shouldn't blame on my lifespan, time and what I got as a limit for existence.

Yesterday, I wrote a quote "If I were God, I will suicide". Being a God will be so painful. It is hard to accept and hard to be. Being a God itself can be a hell. If one of your sons betrayed you, you will see how much the pain you suffered is. Anyway, if God or God-like being grant me an extra day as the biased referee in the soccer match gives 7 minutes injury time instead of 5 minutes to his favorite team, me, I will deny to accept. Every day is like a repeating tragedy, from dawn till dusk, and thus, I don't need more suffering every week, every month and every year. 365.5 days in a year is more than enough for me. Thanks to Pope, Gregory VIII, for creating The Gregorian calendar based on the sun and for not defining so many days in a year.

What I need more is Peace instead of one extra day every week. If anyone still wants to give me peace in the name of whoever, I will greatly appreciate it.. Peace is incomparably more valuable than everything. In Christianity, Jesus says I am P=E=A=C=E. I don't know whether he made his fingers as a peace symbol as hip-hoppers do nowadays when he said these words. And this is the most ancient form of modernism in speaking. I maybe wrong since his father, God said "I am who I am" to Moses. Can peace be given away to others? Though I said a lot of "Peace Be With You", "Peace Be Upon You", I am not very sure the peace I wish to give arrives save and sound to the dedicated person I sent to. Does the word "peace" trigger something to your mind? If not, you should wish an extra day instead.

Zephyr

(Zephyr is who Zephyr is)


Notes:


When death utters, everything become silent as death did before

When death utters, everything become silent as death did before

There are hundred thousand and one ways to die in this world for both physically and mentally. When you keep breathing, you may wrongly think you are still alive but It’s just a misbelief. There is a simple but very challenging question to mankind : “Are You Still Alive???????”

Death is a quite famous and notorious issue for philosophers and artists, for God-believers and for atheists as well. You will notice the adjectives I emphasized; famous and notorious. By the way, should these two occur at the same time? This is the state of the emotion. Do you notice the similar existence of states in the water? Do you know why water is the strangest thing on earth? It has three states: liquid state, solid state, and vapor state. No other material can exist so. Death can be notorious and also can be famous at the same time because of its dimension.

Last week, I read a book, ”On Suicide” by David Hume. Death can be the destiny for some people. For them, death is the escape route from this nonsense, smothered, stressful world. And no one can say Suicide is right or wrong logically. If I have 10 dollars in my wallet and this cash is my own, can I spend as I wish? Of course, I can spend. How’s about my life, then? Can I spend in the market called “Suicide Special Sales” ? Does it make any sense to you? Or can they say “none of your business” for their legacy suicides?
Definition of death also is different from east and west, or from one religion to another. Imagine that there is no hell or inferno or something unpleasant place after death, in this case, death is a remedy for everything.

If you are born in 1990 and earlier, you will remember 09/11 attack in United States. Do you know how some people died there? They are running out from the exit and just one minute away from the safe zone. Unfortunately, some jumpers fell down on them at that moment and they died right away. Can you imagine death can be bloomed between these critical minutes and seconds? We can make a bit change in the old saying to describes the nature and existence of death as “ Nothing is difficult to a willing mind or death”.
And there is also pitiful and irrelevant death. Indeed, it is just one of the chaotic events that death can exist or come out. You will remember Hemingway, the great writer, who was a survivor from the plane crash in 1952 but he committed suicide in 1961. I wonder why a survivor still wanted to suicide. I also curious to know what is the relative value of his life for him at the very moment of his suicide. Since we never suicide for small problems and never let gifted life ruin in this bungee jumping without a rope attached, suicide. Death seems to be an unavoidable game for him or a trap he needs to move in on purpose.

Besides, there are so many Zen master in Japan who wrote their last marvelous, great and unbelievable calm poem at the closest moment of death. Are they nuts or fearless or brave ones? In my childhood, I love reading these poems created in last minutes. Ryonen wrote her last poem as :

Sixty-six times have these eyes beheld the
changing scene of autumn.
I have said enough about moonlight,
Ask no more.
Only listen to the voice of pines and cedars
when no wind stirs.


I felt she is OK for her death. She can welcome it with peace. It is more than amazing! Through this short and powerful poem, you can hear the brevity and calmness at the same time, both are being harmonized by peace. If someone says about Zen Poem, all of us will ask the great Basho’s poems. Here is his death poem right before his last breath.

On a journey, ill:
my dream goes wandering
over withered fields.

How did you feel about this short poem? If you are a Christian, you may remember the Psalm 23 and the beautiful phrase , “valley of the shadow of death”. Of course, the Poet Basho’s dream as well as our dreams, all of them have to pass through this withered fields or valley of the shadow of death. But he has very strong calmness for his journey. Death is just a routine for him. He had no tension for this journey. He was totally peaceful to the journey he will have to travel in next few seconds. Death is a friend for them. Is death friendly to someone who can welcome him at ease? This my childhood’s question doesn’t get a clear answer so far.

I love music and one of the Bands I love most is Nirvana, When I read about the band, I found that the singer/guitarist Kurt Cobain also committed suicide on April 8, 1994. Fame is not a sufficient factor for not committing suicide as Kurt Cobain, Elvis and Marilyn Monroe, and so on committed suicide. Fame, wealth and a wide circle of acquaintance and even a life surrounded by best friends cannot make us safe and sound, happy and joyous, relaxed and peaceful, we still needed death by some aspects.

According to Osho’s teaching, we are dead so many times in our life. We lived in our mother’s womb that is the perfect place that human beings can think about or dream of. If you learn to meditate, you will see the suffering of breathing. Can you imagine there is a soft pain at the tip of your nose for every breath you breathe in and out? Not just one or two times, it is the lifetime suffering. When we were in the womb, breathing is not a necessity to us. We can live without breathing. And within these nine months, we grow most quickly and we never grow so fast throughout our life again. But our peaceful life is just last for nine months at most, otherwise, the hosts, our moms will die. So we have to come out to a new world full of lights and sufferings. We have to move to a new world from safe place. A new place that requires to breathe by ourselves and the doctor hit to our bottom to kick start to breathe. Our peaceful life was dead and we started a new life outside the womb. This death is called or wrongly titled as “giving birth”. When we are unconscious, we are dead for that moment. In this way, we had experienced series of death.

We cannot left out Derrida in our discussion of death. He introduced the most controversial method called “deconstruction”. One of the examples he presented is Zombies. Zombies are neither dead nor alive and also they are dead and alive. This is the point he want to say “undecidability”. And I want to put Derrida’s concern into death. Death is good and bad and is neither good nor bad. It just depends on our mind, and willingness to die and frame of mind, current situation, difficulties, perceptions.

When we are young, we learnt deductive logic and power of God, the Almighty at church. We had to prepare some presentation for God and Death. My Friend, John and I failed in the presentation contest because of our perfect deductive logic. We lost in vain for that but we are still happy for our logic.

Everybody dies.
God Never dies.
So, God is not Everybody.
So, God is Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
So, God is Perfect …
Gotcha!!!!!!!!

Death can differentiate God and us, the superior being and the mediocres.

Before death, almost all of our values of life become deteriorate and melting. So there is an ancient teaching to live our life as the last day. There is a remarkable story of Buddha and his disciples, monks who reminded themselves the distance of death from them. There are three monks having alms-food and Buddha asked to them how they practiced the closeness of death right now. First one answered that he reminded himself he could die after having alms-food. Buddha asked to the second one, and he answered he reminded within the period of having lunch he could die. And Buddha continued to ask to the third one and he answered every time his hand bring the food from plate to his mouth, he reminded himself he could die within each of this having process, that’s literally means every time he reminded he could die. Buddha praised the third one and said well done only to the third monk. Put aside the death closest to mind is the best way for practicing Dhamma in Buddhism. He who knows death can come anytime will not do unnecessary things in life far from doing evil things.

Death is the clear mirror and we can see our true self in it. We cannot lie anything in the last minutes to ourselves. Most of the time, we try to forget our guilty or remorse experiences or thoughts. But in our last-minute movie, we have to watch all these things from start to end again. Death is the screen for this movie, and when the life titled “the End” on the screen, we have to go back to our real home. Death is neither beginning or ending, it is just the milestones for every life.

All in all, death is beautiful truth that remains as the universal truth among us. It still keep its promise all the times starting from the existence of life of living things. How can we see we are still alive for the moment? Can breathing be a proof for it? There can be more than one way to see about your aliveness. For me, hearing and seeing exactly my breathing depicts I am still alive. I wish I could love death and welcome him as a friend one day. As Nandai’s death poem we should learn peace through the death :

Since time began
the dead alone know peace.
Life is but melting snow.

Zephyr

(Notes:)

This is one of my essays for my writing lesson. Of course, I am still a student on every Sunday.

Since our younger bro, Ko Ko, wrote a book in English, it is shameful for me if I never write something in English, otherwise, he may look down on me. Stressful, huh?

Writing is a legacy for us since our mom is a writer.
I hope she will be happy for my essay.

Days ...

Days ...

Going back home.
Sleep 12 hours a day.
Emotionless.
Nothingness.
Aloneness.
Peace in Loch Ness
No one knows where it is.

Zephyr